Today is a “rubber meets the road” type-of-day. Love will get me through, this is what I’m told. Love is the sustainer of ALL things. Even crappy, senseless things.
One thing I’ve been learning about rejection is this:
1. It hurts and it never gets easier to cope.
2. Learning NOT to take things (especially rejection) personally is hard.
3. Not everything someone does or doesn’t do is about you. Most times, in fact, it is not.
So for today, I will suffer through my hurt with a smile on my face. I will shower, eat and enjoy the day as best I humanly can. I will try, also as best as I can, not to dwell. Not to reject back. My world is full of more than just one person.
I’ll choose to believe that it’s not about me. Rejection likes to finger point and say it is but Truth tells me that is not true.
I’m also learning…
4. That if someone else feels rejected, they pull away like I often do and I then come into agreement with them. It’s like I believe the lie and that perpetuates the welfare system and then behave accordingly. Reject the rejector makes sense, it’s a safe way to stay safe but ultimately I give away my power which pretty much just says I think the lie has more weight than the truth.
Then Truth Himself.
That’s bullshit of course and I know it.
So when rejection comes, as it is today, it’s pretty much because I have this “idea” in my head how things are to go and they aren’t, because I feel someone’s hesitancy when I want to feel anything other than…
Expectation surely can be the death of me.
But it won’t.
Sometimes God invites us into a storm so WE can calm it.
I can do this.
Learning to love beyond what I see in the natural is hard. Learning to love as Jesus loves me is harder because He makes it look so effortless and easy, even though I know there are days where our choices pain grief Him deeply. Those days, it must be very hard to love.
Hard but not impossible.
So what am I being redirected towards?
Something better indeed. That something is someone. I’m becoming deeply rooted in the Father’s love, rooted in love for others and for the first time in a long time, rooted in love for myself.