Love can be tricky and isn’t always easy. Love everyone? Yeah, no thanks. Lots of times, I just don’t FEEL it. It is work, doesn’t come quick and is often incredibly complicated…entangled in knots vs. the nice, soft ball of good-feels I prefer.
And I can always tell when I struggling with it. I become short-tempered, quick with my words, easily offended and snarky.
Like today I got into a a childish game of “who could have the last word”…feeling undermined, I needed to have the last say to feel right.
When I’m here, I often find myself trying to make my way back to myself, my nice self. My loving self.
To no avail, I always come up slightly short and my love tank is never quite full enough. It’s exhausting carrying bucket loads of water to the tank on your own so eventually I tire and decide to tap into whose tank I know is full and overflowing.
And I always end up here:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Because if love is not just some feeling or a good and noble deed, but rather the very person of Jesus, then Love is who I am to be.
I often forget that I don’t have to try to find my way BACK to myself, I’m where I want to be the moment I about-face and go in the opposite direction of being short-tempered, quick with my words, easily offended and snarky.
I am patient.
I am kind.
I am not envious, boastful, or proud.
I do not dishonor others.
I am not self-seeking, easily angered, and I keeps no record of wrongs.
I do not not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
I always protect, always trust, always hope, and always persevere.
If I just rest here, in becoming these very words and willing them to life IN me…I find my way back to being loving when I find my way back to Jesus.
He is my compass and my light.
He IS Love.