I sat across the table from her and she, no longer a little girl, is coming into her own. She’s someone’s daughter, though not mine, but I love her as she could be. She begins to cry as our hands find one another across the smooth wood and I whisper to my heart to settle.

She shared the same question that I’ve heard countless times before from many different woman, all different ages, sizes and backgrounds.

“How am I going to get through?”

Even as I ask my heart to settle, it’s the quiet question I’ve been asking myself.


You just do.

I am a daughter, a sister, and mother of five, three of which are daughters. I am a friend, a leader and a mentor. It’s a question we all have in common. It’s a thread that binds us together as one. Not one of us is immune regardless of our age or stage in life.

“How am I going to get through?”

Dearest Daughters,

Hard times come. They do not stop though I wish you were immune. You will experience heartache and loss, trials and tribulations. You will be faced with your own brutal and beautiful shortcomings that somehow demand your love and your acceptance. You will be faced with the raw reality of your life, the cards you have been dealt, the choices that you and those around you make. You will be faced with both truth and lies and will have to decide which one you are going to give your power and belief to. You will come face to face with one decision after another…will your thoughts, your feelings and your circumstances define you? Will someone else be able to assign you value? Will they be able to determine your worth?

As much as I don’t want you walking where I have or experiencing the different trials and sufferings that I now are out there, I know you will not be immune to heartache and loss. Though our stories will overlap and they may mirror one another, you are your own person and I am incredibly thankful for it.


A very wise man told me yesterday to stop fighting my heartache, and he is right. I’ve been battling not being where I am at and have been trying so hard to keep my heart free of holes. But it has been leaking and I have utilized all my corks trying to keep it all from seeping out and it is exhausting so dear daughter, mourn when you got to mourn, weep when you need to weep. Trust that the Father is with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Allow Him to take your heart in his hands and perform the needed heart surgery on it to get you through to the further side.

“How am I going to get through?”

With Him.

I think of Hagar who suffered greatly at the jealous hands of Sarah, honest in her heartache. I think of David sitting in the fields, forgotten and alone, bearing his soul to the sheep. I think of how Jesus often went to lonely places to pray. Of how he was rejected in His hometown and how His identity was always in question. I think on these things and my heart unwillingly relates. I understand. But at the Last Supper, John, who often called himself “The disciple that Jesus loved” leaned into Jesus. That picture is in my head not because I have read some Bible story but because it is a posture I am familiar with.

Lean. Times when your heart breaks and you are filled with more questions than there are answers to, lean. When you feel lost and confused, lean. Lean deeply. Allow your pain to be as raw as your love and trust that He will perform the needed surgery on your heart. Dearest Daughters…He is how you fight your battles.


“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10