I allow the water to run full blast as I brush my teeth and I don’t care. I hear His voice loud and clear, “You know where this is headed, right?”
I rinse. I have it under control.
I rummage through my closet and pick out a shirt for tomorrow. I feel her near though I can’t see her. She is in the room. I hear her voice whispering,”Get a hold of this now before it goes too far.”
I stubbornly turn my back. They are both right. My thought life is getting away from me. I’m playing and then replaying a conversation. I’m making assumptions. I’m taking things personally.
And I know better.
My ego is running the show and Jesus knows it. My real self knows it too and tries to warn me but I just don’t know how to stop a run away freight train. It’s massive engine is picking up speed.
“How?” It’s all I know to say. “You both see it and I see it but I don’t know HOW to turn the switch. Not today. Not right now…”
I just want this day to end.
So I nestle under the covers and pull the blanket up real tight around my neck as if to swaddled my own self like an infant. I cry though there are no tears. I feel it in my chest. It’s a cry that can’t be audibly heard though I swear it called fourth a legion of host that immediately surround me. I’m not alone and I know it. I close my eyes.
I don’t need to know anything else tonight. His Presence is enough. I’ll wake up tomorrow to a new perspective.